The leader

             Note: Not the actual leader.

             The leader was young and passionate about meditation. She often told stories about her life before meditation and her difficulty early on when she couldn't still her mind for more than a few minutes. Now she was trying to meet the 5 precepts at a minimum if not more. And she had opened her mind to the possibilities of alternate realms. Still she was very good about reminding the group that meditation was not meant to replace our own religious beliefs. 

Join

    

     Over time I tentatively talked with a few friends about my new activitiy. Testing the waters. For the most part, people were receptive and sounded interested in giving it a try. My kids on the other hand branded me a "hippie" and rolled their eyes. I did get one couple to join for a class. It was also my first class where the instructor called on me to describe my meditation technique or experience. I was excited to talk, but for some reason I decided to focus on pain and difficulty. The trouble focusing the mind, my aching limbs in the half lotus position. Luckily I snapped out of it and mentioned that these go away, "it gets easier," and topped it off with a note about how group meditation was so much better than trying to go it alone. Not yet the spokesman for the group.

The meditation crowd

          You know someone is dedicated when they choose to come to class and meditate on their birthday.  I didn't ask why she chose to come, but she seemed in high spirits and excited to meditate. Apparently a lot of other people decided to meditate on this day. The class was double its normal size. The core group represented well, along with returning old members and a  lot of "first timers" and yoga girls. The class was noisy, hot and in my opinion not very conducive to meditation. I chided myself for such negative thoughts. I had formed an opinion that meditation was good for anyone (assuming we left out the reincarnation topics) and yet here I was complaining about too many people. Obviously I needed to work on my level of meditation to eliminate such thoughts. Maybe next time.

 

Coming and Going

Over time I had noticed some interesting trends. There was a core group, me included, who were regulars, and then there were a variety of visitors. Visitors seemed to fall in three camps. Past group members, who got a big greeting from the leader, a mixture of the curious who lasted one or two sessions and were never seen again, and yoga girls. The last group I found interesting. Young, eager, and wearing yoga outfits, they came because meditation was a part of their yoga routine and wanted to experience more of the meditation aspect. While they always said they were glad they came, they never lasted more than two sessions and then we never saw them again. Still, there was always a steady stream.

Movies

Over time I realized that certain movies captured my thoughts on meditation. In the beginning it reminded me of "The Matrix". The concept that what we thought was real, was an illusion. "Do you want to take the one pill to keep the illusion, or the other pill to see the reality."  Stilling the mind, you realize all the constructs you have in place, which initially you assume are requirements, but later discover are non-essential. Later my thoughts shifted to movies like” Altered States” or  “Somewhere in Time.”  While I didn’t believe the idea that we could visit past lives or alternate realms while in a deep meditation, most of the class discussion was beginning to center around these experiences from other Monks.

Group Discussion

     

      On a few occasions there were group discussions at the end of class. We talked about the 5 precepts and the difficulty I had with the one about intoxicants. "I get why this interferes with meditation, and I never have a beer on the nights I come to meditate, but this is a hard one to follow", I said. The leader went on to talk about how drinking was all peer pressure. "No one drinks if they are by themselves", she said. "I beg to differ", I responded, and the group laughed.
      Next the discussion drifted into the power of meditation, or lack thereof in a large group. One of the abbots in a video had implied that natural disasters occurred when a deficit of merit existed in a certain region, or a group of people had very negative thoughts. "Really?!", I responded. "I'm not buying that." The conversation then erupted into a cacophony of varying opinions. Somehow the conversation turned to Stephen Hawking, I'm not sure how, and then came to a close. I may not have agreed with everything being said, but at least the debate was fun.

Flash

   It's another new venerable tonight. They all have their own way of conducting the class, but there is usually an introduction, then guided meditation, and silent meditation, followed by either questions or a lecture. We seem to have a small group of regulars now. Perhaps 10 people come weekly, with an additional 5 to 10 floaters and new attendees.
     This time, as I finally got into a deeper meditation, I saw a flash of light. Uhgg, there goes the leader taking pictures again. But it wasn't. Finally, I had experienced a brief flash of light, like the first time, but not nearly as joyous or as long. Still, I was grateful for the moment, since this implied I had achieved a deeper than usual meditative state and it had been a long time since my first experience.