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Karl

The retreat Part 2

The venerable took his place at the front, bowed three times to the buddha sculpture at the front of the room (his teacher) and then turned to face us, as we bowed to show respect to him (our teacher). He smiled, let the leader describe the day's agenda, and then looked a little stern when she came to the meditation strategy. "Two one hour meditations one in the morning and one in the afternoon", she announced. At this point the venerable politely but firmly changed it to 3 shorter sessions of 30 to 45 minutes. All the leader could do was smile and nod acceptance.

The Meditation Retreat

As I arrived, dressed in light colors (preferably white) I scanned the parking lot for signs of activity. So far there were only a few people present, and I assumed these were regular members. Good. I was feeling a little foolish dressed head to toe in white garb (Mr. Clean!) and quickly headed inside. I wrote my name on the sign in sheet, and collected my name badge and headed into the main room of the center. I was glad that I had arrived early because there were only a few of the stadium style meditation chairs I preferred.
     I was excited to get started for multiple reasons. First, I wanted to see the youtube video venerable in the flesh, Venerable Nicholas, second I wanted to see if long and frequent meditation sessions over the next two days were going to lead to some kind of breakthrough. Soon I would find out.
     As the crowd got larger, I settled in and scanned the room for signs of friends and the venerable. The leader walked up and put the agenda on the large flat screen TV at the front of the room. She started with introductions and an overview and then handed off to another member to provide the introduction to meditation. This was then handed off to another member who provided details on the proper sitting position. I was so focused on what was going on that I jumped when I realized the venerable was behind me, slowly walking towards the front of the room. He seemed smaller in person than on the video. Maybe everyone thinks TV stars are smaller in person. Maybe it has to do with the typical news anchor focus on the face and upper torso. Regardless the moment had arrived and the room fell into a hush.

Meditation Boot Camp

This weekend is a meditation retreat. Two full days of meditation and related talks. I will be providing the introduction on day 2, and meditating the most I have ever done in a day or weekend. Its either pushing the envelope, or meditation boot camp. We will see.

Goals

As a rather goal oriented person, I have set out my 2013 Goals/Resolutions for the year. One in particular gave me difficulty. On the task list on my iPhone, was simply "meditation". What pray tell is a "meditation" goal? Is the very essence of "being present,"not setting goals? I haven't come up with an answer yet, but I framed some possible responses.

Fold

As we folded brochures before class for the upcoming retreat with a high ranking venerable, I tried to practice my mindfulness. "Be patient," I thought. Crease, fold, crease, fold, become one with the paper, the process.  Nope- not working, time to move on. New members had arrived and the leader quizzed them with the usual questions. What is your name, have you ever meditated, what is your interest in meditation? It was surprising the number like me who came because they had passed by the meditation center for months, years, and had finally made the plunge to check it out.
   This time I had felt optimistic about my meditation and was rewarded with a more prolonged pleasant experience. I had been practicing on not stopping in the middle of an intense, almost weightless feeling by suddenly jolting back to consciousness and thinking "wow, what was that?" and losing the state in the process. Normally the benefits of meditation lasted a couple hours after we finished, but this time I felt vestiges for a day and a half. I also noticed that my aches and pains from sitting in the half-lotus position had also diminished. This was a first.

TED

TED Meditation

Yesterday on my TED downloads this lecture on meditation popped up. In summary it describes trying to find time to think about nothing in a chaotic world constantly vying for our attention.

A year and a chocolate

So, first session of the year. For some reason I am a little nervous as I enter the meditation hall thinking back on a year of meditation classes. I go through the motions of taking off my coat, shutting off my cell phone and positioning myself on the meditation chair. I scan the room looking for the regulars (now called core by the teacher) and pick out a few. "This is my year anniversary of meditating," I chatter away. No special kudos from anyone, maybe a smile and a nod. Like the past year, we start with stretches and then the  introduction of people new to the group. Unfortunately, there was no magical transition into a better meditation after the year marker, but all in all, not bad. As we put our chairs away, I again chatted about passing the year milestone. "Wait," said the leader's new husband, "I bestow this gold coin token upon you at this momentous occasion." He pulled a large gold coin out and handed it to me. "And best of all," he continued, "you can eat it because it is chocolate!" I had to laugh. This was the best response.

2013

After a little hiatus from the blog, I am back. Its New Years day, and in a few days it will have been a year since I started the meditation journey. Hard to believe I have kept at it this long. I really thought I might last 3 months at the most, but no, its been a year. What have I learned in the past year? Besides my surprise that I have kept at it, and will continue into the next year, that some things were easy and some were harder than I imagined. What I found easy, was the immediate benefit I felt after every meditation session. On the hard side, was getting that same feeling when meditating at home. I also had the belief, that once I had a good meditation experience, I would be able to get to that feeling every session and improve upon it. Big mistake and lots of frustration! So, in 2013, I will continue the journey, focus on the humor,  and try to improve myself to the next level (whatever that is). Onward!